Recluse

akouste oneiro: Eimai sto dwmatio diamerismatos ston prwto orofo kai vriskomai eksw sto mpalkoni. Exei kati glastres kai tis thavmazw, opws episis kai to gegonos oti vriskomai ston prwto orofo pou mou parexei asfaleia kai prwsopiko xwro, les kais to isogeio kai stous dromous kukloforoun oloi oi treloi I kati teteio. Auti tin aisthisi exw. Ksafnika kapeios xtupaei tin porta me thoruvo kai epimoni. Anoigw kai vlepw kapeion agnwsto o opeios psaxnei tin Olivia (mia sugatiko foititria pou zei sto paradipla dematio), kai prospathei na krupsei tin anishxia tou. Oxi opws tha ekane o opeiosdipote alla san na kserei pws an enoxlisei I kai anishxisei kapeion, p.x. emena, tote tha erthei megali katastrofi. Enw den kserw pou einai I Olivia kai den exei sxesi me to meros pou menw egw, prospathw na ton kathisixasw enw den anusixw tromera giati fainetai pws tin anazitei gia sunaisthimatikous logous(profanws kapeios gomenos kai ta loipa) kai outos I allws den einai apeileitikos I kati teteio. Ksafnika arxizei na me rwtaei ti wra einai kai na leei oti den prolavainei. Den prolavainei ti? Den kserw. Einai 12 para 5 peripou tou lew. Arxizw na anysixw kai ton rwtaw ti trexei kai an den mporei na mou pei na psaksw na tin vrw kai na tin ferw grigora xwris na kserw ti ginetai, afou den ithele na mou pei kai ton ton evlepa etsi, kai mou leei pws den prolavainei kai irthe I wra. Peia wra? Gonatizei sti mesi tou dwmatiou kai arxisei na mou leei pws tha erthei na ton parei kapeios kai einai to telos giati den prolave na tou apodiksei oti estw kai enas se auto to kosmo ton agapaei (platwnika)kai pws I simfwnia itan pws tha pigaine stin kollasi an den apodikneie oti estw kai enas exei na pei ena kalo logo gia auton. Epsaxne tin Olivia giati eitan summathites poli palia kai pws tis eixe kanei ena mikro kalo tote kai tin epsaxne na tou anagnwrisei auti tin praksi tou kai na tou pei: nai mou ferthikes kala kapote. Exw arxisei na tromokratoume kai arxizw na upopsiazomai auto pou upopsiazeste kai eseis. Ksafnika ekei pou einai gwnatismes, vazei katw to kefali kai to kalyvei me ta xeria tou kai egw kollaw pisw ston toixo apo fovo, akouw ena thorivo san na spaei tsimendo, kai vlepw sto tavani sti mesi tou dwmatiou na vgainei kati san mavro xrapodi alla me decades plokamia, na kounientai kai na pigainoun panw tou. Eitan mavra kai leia alla oxi gialistera kai to paxos peripou enos potiriou kai sto telos eixan to paxos enos daxtulou. Arxizoun ton arpazoun, autos einai akinitos, ton kaluptoun kai ton sikwnoun apanw siga kai athorufa mexri pou ton piran mesa apo tin trupa les kai pige ston panw orofo, kai oso emaine stin trupa to tabani pire tin kanoniki tou mori. Me to pou egine auto egw petaxtika ston upon mou laxaniasmenos ksipnise kai I kopela mou apo to thoruvo, kai den den prospathousa oute gia plaka na koitaksw pros to tavani, eixa xestei panw mou. Xwris plaka den exw valei saltses kai malakies stin ostoria kai aplws eipa oso perissoteres leptomereies thimamai. Den pairnw oute narkwtika, kai pinw kana 3 mpires tin evdomada gia na mi lete oti eimai kammenos. Genika vlepw polla teteia oneira metafisiko-apokaluptokou periexomenou to eipa se filous kai lene einai apo to agxos. Mporei alla oute psaxnomai me teteia oute vlepw taineis autou tou pereiexomenou. Vasika exw na dw polla xtonia. Ade vgalte akri na me peite kai emena.

prin apo 10 xronia peripou. eimoun sto dwmatio kalokairaki, gurisa apo eksw kai prospathousa na koimithw gurw stis 1 to prwi kai den mporousa. eixa tin aisthisi oti kapeios me koitaei. lew pws einai idea mou kai den dinw simasi aomws den mporw na komithw. meta kamia wra sikwnomai kai paw gia nero sti kouzina kai gurnaw pisw sto krwvati omws pali ta idia. exei paei gwrw stis 4 peripou kai ta idio aisthima. ektos oti exw xestei panw mou exw tsatisti upervolika ke auti ti katastasi giati den teleiwnei. anavw ola ta fwta kai arxisw kai psaxnw to dwmatio nevra kai fobo paralila. koitaw katw apo to krevati, anougw doulapes kai sertaria pisw apo to grafio, genikos otidipote meros tha mporouse na mpei kapeios. tipota omws kai i idia aisthisi uparxei. den kseftomai ali lusi kai tsekarw sto spiti an oi gwneis mou kai i aderfimou den mou kanoun kamia plaka i kati telospantwn kai paw sta dwmatia tous na dw an koimounai kai ondws koimountai. den kserw ti gineai alla exw agrieftei tosw pou den thelw na koimithw kai exw anapsei ola ta fwta. ksafnika apofasizw na vgw eksw sto mpalkoni na me xtupisei ligos aeras na drosistw mia kai eixe zesta. molis anoigw tin mpalkonoporta koitaw apenanti se mia palia lefka (dentro) pou eixame gurw sta 20 metra apo to spiti. to vlema mou paei kateftheian ekei kai vlepw mia megali koukouvagia na exei karfwsei to vlematis epanw mou. xwris plaka tolew kai natrixiazw, exw klasei mendes, exw minei akinitos kai to vlematis einai karfomeno stamatia mou gia peripou 5 me 10 defterolepta, kai den mporw oute na skeftw oute na kounithw. ksafnika anoigoklinei ta matia tis gurnaei to kefalei kai aplwnei ta ftera kai fevgei. kai egw exw minei malaks na katalavw ti egine. kleinw tin porta kai mpainw sto dwmatio kai katalavainw oti auti i aisthisi oti me koitane exei figei, niothw mia upervoliki kopwsh kai peftw gia upno. komithika se 2 lepta kai tin alli mera ti eipa se kana 2 filous kai den ksrane ti na mou poun. to mono parakseno pou iksera itan oti i lefka eitan toulaxiston 80 etwn kai panupsili gurw stous 5 orofous kai itan anamesa se 3 oikopeda. apo paidia den paizame ekei giati opeios plisiaze kati pathaine, i xtupouse. to idio pathianan kai oi goneis mas giati megalwsan ekei trigurw kai mas legane na min paigainoume konta. meta apo kana xroni tin riksane giati elgan oti itan toso palia pou eixan kaei oi rizes tis kai upirxe kundinos na pesei apo kakokairia, kai fusika kaneis den tin aggikse alla plirwsane oloi sunergeio apo allou na erthei na tin kopsei. auta eginan sti xrisoupoli kavalas to '95